Note
This is a reflection that I wrote for the “It Gets Better” Project back in October 2010. I’m bringing content from my blog to this site, and I haven’t edited this yet. It contains some outdated statements, so I’ll come back to it soon.
Over the last several weeks, a number of teens and very young adults took their own lives because they had been bullied or harassed because they came out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual or because people simply believed or assumed they were gay, lesbian, or bisexual. This is a national tragedy. Bullying (especially “cyber-bullying”) has increased significantly over the last few years. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death in persons 15-24 years of age, and gay or lesbian kids are four times more likely than their straight counterparts to commit suicide.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender kids, youth, and young adults are often on the receiving end of bullying. Because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, they are perceived to be different, weird, or odd by their peers. Even though many strides have been made over the forty-one years since the Stonewall Riots toward more equal rights for all people, the LGBTQ community is still maligned, mis-characterized, and misunderstood. Adults’ attitudes inform the attitudes of their own children or children over whom they have some influence (e.g. pastors, teachers, youth group leaders, etc.). Intolerance on the part of adults breeds intolerance in the children and youth they influence.
It is sad that parts of the Church are responsible for the intolerance of many people. When the Church points to Biblical passages that refer to sexual practices as an “abomination,” that is quickly translated by many Christians as, “gay people are an abomination.” Even The United Methodist Church’s proclamation that, “The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching” (The United Methodist Book of Discipline 2008, paragraph 161G), is hurtful language. It still implies that there is something wrong with gays or lesbians. The language of the Church is reinterpreted by many to justify cruelty to or intolerance of LGBTQ persons.
Thank God that there are pastors who make sure that the members of their congregations know that all people – straight, gay, young, old, male, transgender, female – are an important part of the Body of Christ. Even The United Methodist Book of Discipline states that, “Homosexual persons, no less than heterosexual persons, are individuals of sacred worth,” and that we Methodists support equal rights for all persons, regardless of their sexual orientation (paragraphs 161G and 162H). Many within The United Methodist Church identify as Reconciling United Methodists, working toward the day when all God’s people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, are welcome to participate fully in all the rites and the ministry orders of the Church. Such people and positive language is the only way that we will steer the Church away from hateful and hurtful attitudes towards sexual minority persons.
Let me make my own opinion perfectly clear: After years of careful and thorough study of the texts and the traditions, after much prayer and conversation with folks of all sorts of opinions, I firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered persons; they are persons of sacred worth, created in the image of God, living into being whom God has called them to be. It is as honorable to live in a committed, homosexual relationship as it is to live in a committed, heterosexual relationship. God created us all equal, imbued us all with his spirit of love, and calls us to live in loving relationship with each other.
So, does it get better? For the sake of the Church and the hurting LGBTQ persons of this world, that is what we hope and pray for. Jesus started this movement called “The Kingdom of God.” In his initial band of followers, he included a lot of First-Century-Palestine “outsiders”: women, tax collectors, poor people, the physically or emotionally disabled whom he had healed; all these were considered “less than persons” in their society. Some of them were even labeled as “abominations.” Jesus’ remedy? He called those who would be part of the Kingdom of God to love all people, regardless of their background or what others thought of them. That call and command of Christ has not changed one iota. We, too, if we are part of the Body of Christ, must reach out in love, care, and concern to every person we meet and love and welcome them into the Kingdom of God.
But loving actions and welcoming attitudes are not enough. We must speak out against bullying, bigotry, and intolerance, in whatever forms they present themselves. This includes speaking out against intolerant language on the part of the Church and/or its leaders. No matter what hurt – especially hurtful language and attitudes – is being caused to someone else, each of us has a responsibility to stop it. We are also responsible to monitor our own language and attitudes, avoiding off-color jokes about “those people” or mean, off-hand comments made about certain groups of people. Not only are they not funny, they are hurtful and are part of the problem.
Finally, we must affirm to all our children, youth, young adults, the middle aged, and the senior citizens of all sorts, stripes, backgrounds, and orientations: God loves you, we love you, and we all need each other to make this world a better place. Only when we learn to live, work, and love together will the sentence be true that “It Gets Better.”